Clearly, I had not been up to speed with the game.
Too authoritative and too fierce, you take away the child’s confidence.
Too sweet and soft, the child becomes incorrigible.
I have to constantly remind myself that Z has opinions of his own, ideas of his own and preferences of his own. Sometimes, he doesn’t make the best decision and I bite my tongue to see him learn the lesson.
Even if it’s at the expense of him losing his favorite possession, I see him feel the heart pain, and so do I. He’s a really forgetful boy so he doesn’t remember his lessons.
Everything resets to zero when he has too much fun. That happens really often.
Rules and boundaries – Reset to zilch
Math, English and Chinese – Reset to zilch
Drive, motivation and discipline – Reset to zilch
Imagine my horror when I searched “Why are boys forgetful?” I get results telling me that this problem will peak during teenagehood and may never even be solved when the boys reach adulthood. That explains why I have a very forgetful Mr H on hand too!
I like this particular suggestion of turning a statement into a question and will try to practice the next time. Instead of telling Z to do something, I should ask him how he plans to do it.
And finally, I must also remind myself on the little moments worth celebrating. In theory, it was good to boost the child’s confidence. On the flip side, it was shielding the child in a bubble world.
Tough call, tough judgement.