Working through stereotyping

Inconsistent performances typically led to stereotyping, even for the worse. That was something that even helicopter parents could not help with. 

When Z did well, he did well. When he could not focus, he did bad. This caused misconception and usually led to other parties forming a poor impression of him. 

One day, someone scored an own goal. Z got pretty upset that people thought that he was the one who made the mistake because he was the less skilled player. I explained to Z the concept of stereotyping and how he caused the problems himself. He had to either prove other people wrong by improving or just learned how to brush it aside. 

Maybe it was too early to expose him to the cynical side of life. He had to learn that stereotyping would happen everywhere and anywhere, even in class. If he was always a good boy in class, the teacher would have more favourable opinion of him and less likely to think that he was causing trouble, even if he was. This worked both ways.

It was a lot to sink in.

The beauty of being a boy was to forget everything by the next day. So much for stereotyping! 

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Weekends

There had been a lot going on at work. My weekday energies and state of mind had been well burned. I really had nothing to complain because I enjoyed what I was doing, just that amount of absorption had been intense.

It did not help that X contacted a viral bug and had to miss school. Thankfully, he recovered in time for the weekend. We had to pick up the Star Wars race kit, dined and did some grocery shopping. 

When Saturday morning came with thundery showers, we went for a Prata breakfast with friends, followed by coffee and BYOL to our neighbour’s patio. 

Z went for his lessons while X napped and I did some work. 

We ate dinner with our neighbours again before calling it a night. 

Sunday was more rain, piano lesson, last soccer game of the season, Korean food and tennis. 

In a whiz, the weekend was over. 

I supposed we could all do with longer weekends. 

Countdown to June holidays 

We were approximately a month to holiday.  It was a trip that we planned, cancelled, planned and cancelled, to the point that I wondered if we were really going until we reached there.

I always used booking.com for booking of accommodation. I loved the transparent cancellation policies and free cancellations in most instances. I had gotten so used to the free cancellation option that it did not sit easy with me to commit. 

Keeping fingers crossed! 🤞🏻

If the trip worked out, we wouldn’t have to plan any holiday camps for Z. 

X’s tempers

If X used to throw 6 full blown tantrums a day, it had reduced to 4. It was an improvement but it really could be better. He was quick to get mad, slow to cool down. 

Maybe we should let him work off his anger. Maybe we should wait.

But he also got so carried away that his anger lasted very long.

I had been trying to talk to him about choosing the happier path, choosing the easy way out and not minding the small flaws in the plan. These pep talk did not work. 

So now I worked on the disincentive method – choose the olive branch or the cane. 

An olive branch represented a new chance, a new possibility and a new hope. Thankfully, this boy had learned to choose the olive branch. Hope this would last!

Minding the work

With the new job on hand, I had not been as earnest as I was in the first year. Imagine my surprise when I came across this news clipping outside X’s preschool. 

Once again, another blatant reminder that girls outshone boys at a young age. 

Before I became a mom, I had to say in never knew or realised this difference. It would not make a difference because I would still love my sons the way they were. 

I had to say that they were so forgetful that they always forgot my scolding and bore zero grudge. But it also meant teaching them was a pain because they also remembered little. 

In fact, Z asked me why was it that he could forgive and forget swiftly, but why could I bear grudges for more than a day?

Similarly, I also wondered why he could forget everything we taught him in less than a day. 

Holiday planning & recap

Considering that we had booked up to 4 holidays in advance, our kiasu factor ranked high. 

I had maxed out my planned leave for this year, so all I could do was to plan ahead for the following year. 

The kids remembered their holidays fondly. Every now and then, we would be quizzed as they walked down their memory lanes.

Where was my first holiday?

Which countries have I visited?

Where did we go in 2014?

Z was at the age where he remembered tons. If I didn’t check my records, I would not be able to remember. Hence, Z surprised when he was able to rattle off where we had been. In particular, X had asked us where he’d been in his first year, his second year. I actually got the answer wrong but Z proved to be the better of the two.

It helped that I had photo books so the boys really enjoyed looking back and flipping through those precious memories. 

Viral bug 

For a week, X was down with a viral infection. It had started on a Monday morning when X declared that he was too tired to go to sxhool. I had almost never hear him make such a statement and was most certain that he was sick, and he was.

A visit to the family doctor confirmed it. 

The persistent high fever was an indication that the viral infection was not going away anytime soon. Thankfully, it was a fairly quieter week at work and I had a great boss who was so understanding.

Between Mr H and I, we got our babysitting covered. 

It was also through this episode that I found X super, duper stubborn and annoying. 

I reflected and felt that Mr H had really spoilt #2 a tad too much. It made caring for him a major chore. As different as personalities could go, the upbringing also made an impact. 

If only the ill tempers could be dispelled with the viral bugs.