As the firmer parent of the two, most people would readily think that the firmer parent would be the fiercer parent. Being firm did not directly correlate to yelling or poor anger management.
On the contrary, I hardly ever get angry though the kids usually did not want to venture into the deep zone of my firm parenting.
It was an unfortunate day when Z angered Mr H and earned a earful of yelling. If there was a term such as verbal diarrhea, that sounded like a verbal rampage to me. The venting of frustration all at once stunned me and I saw the need to protect my son from such behavior.
It was not easy to get an angry bear to listen. The trick to doing so was to stay logical, stay objective and task-oriented. I drove home the message but it seemed to have appeared as my own agenda or personal opinion.
Hence, I was delighted to chance upon this.
In this era where kids were a lot more sensitive, I really felt it was important for a child to feel loved and supported at all times. Parental yelling destroyed that level of support. It was one thing about correcting the child, but really, to teach a child was to nurture and rule firmly. Parental yelling achieved none of these objectives.
Furthermore, for parents who felt angry with children for making them look back, I thought that was the worst, possible reason as the basis for being unhappy with the children.
In my desperation, I had used “destructive manager” to describe the yelling parent.
Parenting could be made a lot easier if one could be consistent, firm and to put it simply, walked the talk.
If you knew of a yelling parent, please asked them to read the wsj article.