It was a journey but Z was finally getting the hang of it.
He was able to protect his own rights and bullying through being firm. There were times when he was a bit tactless but he was learning too. Based on recommendations from the self-help article, we even had to role play with him and guided him on what to say and do. I thought that was really effective.
Z was a protected, kind and generous child. In Chinese, you would say that he 吃亏。He lost out when he was slow to react and other kids had grabbed what they wanted. He lost out when he did not know how to prevent kids who took away his belongings. He lost out when he did not know how to decline other kids’ demands. He lost out because he was kind, because he was not greedy and because he was compassionate.
Losing out was when you were forced to bend to others’ will and you felt the lack of compromise. Hence, I was impressed by how Z had learned to manage such situations by being firm and yet, retaining his kind-heartedness.
I felt very proud when I saw him achieving this balance, so much so that I let him unbox a new toy.
X, on the other hand, needed no further instruction. However, he was disadvantaged by his small built. During the times when he was unable to stand up to the older kids, Z stood up for him and helped him. On one particular party when it happened, X felt so grateful to his brother that he thanked Z profusely and even said, “I love you!”